If you read the first article regarding Child Support and John’s profession, then you saw his ‘business card’ for ‘JJ’s Automotive Repair and Restoration’ which reflects him being “ASE Certified”. He is not computer literate and had me design and print those cards out for him. The information on the cards was provided to me by him. How did I not know he wasn’t a real mechanic? I didn’t know anything about certifications and never thought to check his credentials. I trusted him and his story regarding certification was the same regardless of who he told it to. Not one of his friends nor his parents said anything different nor did anyone correct him while he was teling his lies I took him at his word. My word is golden and I used to expect everyone else’s to be golden to them as well. I no longer hold those expectations.I have also learned that ASE Certifications come in different areas and must be renewed each year. You must hold certifications in all areas to be qualified as
I have also learned that ASE Certifications come in different areas and must be renewed each year. You must hold certifications in all areas to be qualified as ASE Master Certified Automotive Technician. I have seen Brian’s credentials and he has explained it all to me. He has passed all of the tests and keeps his certifications up to date. Why would John lie about his education and profession? You’ll have to ask him why he continues to lie about his education and profession. In his own handwriting, on this ‘Fiduciary Statement in Support of Affifavit”, an official Government document used to certify him as his uncle’s fidicuary, he writes that he has a GED and he is indeed a mechanic. On the back of the form, he signs his name under the statement, “I CERTIFY THAT the statements on this form are true and correct to the best of my knowledge and belief.” It also asks about imprisonment and his answer was yet another lie. He lists Buena High School as if he graduated and Cochise College as part of his education on his Facebook page. According to Dr. Vaknin, this lying behavior is a classic Narcissistic Trait, which is number one on his list.
1. Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) ~ Dr. Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self-Love
From “What You Need To Know” by Mary M. Alward, Inside the Abuser’s Mind, we learn that they blame others for their failure to succeed and they lie about anything and everything, regardless of importance. They also believe their own lies but if you catch them in one and call them on it, the suffer Narcissistic Injury and try to lie themselves out of the lie or verbally assault you. They cannot handle critisism at all. That is one of the main differences between the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Sociopath.
Fantasies of Success
Abusers believe that they would be famous and rich if the victim and other people weren’t holding them back. Because he believes his failure in life is due to others, he feels he is justified in retaliating in any way he can, including physical and emotional abuse. He belittles, berates and puts others down, including the victim, to make himself feel more powerful.
Most abusers are liars. They lie to manipulate their victim by controlling information. They also lie to keep their victim, and others, off balance psychologically. This enables the abuser to gain control of every situation.
Abusers, both men and women, think of themselves as independent, self-sufficient, superior and strong. If someone criticizes them or says something that causes them to feel insulted, the feeling will cause them to react violently toward their victim. This is the only outlet that they know to use to quell feelings of inadequacy.
John refused to particiate in the divorce. He had plenty of time to file a response and make his desires known, but he wanted it all his way without having to do any of the work. He didn’t get it his way. I failed to comply with his demands. Unhappy with the outcome because he was ordered to pay child support and I was granted sole custody, John went into a Narcissistic rage. He shot threats and insults at me through text messages, one right after the other. He then began carrying out the threats. I had never seen that side of him before and that is when I realized he is capable of anything. I went to the courthouse and obtained an Order of Protection against him. His reaction to the final decree is yet another trait of the Narcissistic Sociopath.
Abusers are extremely dominating to the point that they want to control everything that the victim does. If they don’t get their way, they act like spoiled children. On top of that, they use threats to get what they want. If you allow your abuser to dominate you, you will lose your self respect.
Once he stopped raging, he paid paralegal “JoJo Aguilar” to draw up a document titled, “Request for Reconsideration, Request for Relief from Final Order and Request to Amend Decree of Dissolution of Marriage“. I enjoy making pictures to tell parts of the story and this is a perfect place for one.
The portion of my Response to his request that address his item number nine is long. I tried to be short, but there is no way I could get all the information I have which disputes his claim into just a few lies. I believe my response was a bit too wordy, but what’s done is done. I will be posting the documents in full at a later date. Today, I am only focusing on the Child Support portion which is directly related to his education and proffession. My response, if you can read through it all, great. If not, I completely understand.
He did file a reply to my response, yet it was after we had the hearing for his Requests which made his filing moot.
So what did John have to say when I called him out on lying about his education and proffession? He posted it on Facebook for the world to see. “Who cares what I know and what I don’t know as long as the job gets done.” My reply to him is, “I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t know, then when the job gets done, it’s not done right. I’m pretty sure the people who you represent yourself to as an educated professional in the field of automotive mechanics care about what you do and do not know. People do not enjoy being ripped off and they certainly do not enjo have to take their vehicles to be repaired after they already paid you to repair them. The courts also care about what you do and do not know. Had you not lied to me about all of it for our entire marriage, the child support worksheet would have been filled out differently. Blame me all you want, but you are the party at fault and it is your lies that tripped you up.”
Following his statement about what he does and does not know, he writes that he is the one who is real in all this mess. A real what is my question. A real fraud? Yes. A real liar? Asolutely. He cannot claim to be real when everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. He is the epitomy of “FAKE“. He states he has all the answers to everthing I am saying but he will not disclose them. Do you know what that type of ‘VAGUE’ behavior is? It is another trait of the Narcissitic Sociopath.
Abusers think and speak vaguely to avoid their responsibilities. When asked why they are late or where they’ve been, answers will be vague. If their partners pursue the reason, the abuser becomes defensive and strikes out in order to remain in control of the situation.
So what about that child support worksheet? I followed the instructions based on the laws to fill it out. For the arrears, his claim that I was awarded two years worth is false, Arrears were dated back to February 2014, which was just after he moved out. Why those fols he calls friends cannot see that his claims do not add up is beyond me. He typically hangs out with the he feels are less intelligent than him or those he can manipulate easily. Intelligent people are too much of a strugle for him to converse with. Perhas they use words that he does not understand or perhaps they tire of his repetitive speak after a limited amount of time. He cannot feel good about himself while conversing with those who are well-educated. They make him feel stupid, which he is, but he doesn’t like to admit that little fact. The truth is too hard for him to handle. TRUTH HURTS.
Sorry guy. I didn’t realize that everything you ever said was a lie and that you were so stupid and uneducated that you can’t hold down any type of job anywhere. If you had been honest, there would’ve been nothing to fix. Of course, I would’ve never moved in with you let alone procreated with you.
Well, at least he is a Facebook Certified Mechanic. It is just a short distance away from a Master ASE Certified Automotive Technician and a tad bit better than a Cracker Jacks Certified Mechanic, but if people accept his Facebook app credentials and are willing to risk having to fix their cars over and over again, then it is their perogative and their money to throw away or let him rip the off if they so wish.
Have a most wonderful day and don’t forget to make somebod smile. Love changes people.
Mel, Saved by God’s Grace