Silenced?

As if. Daddy always did say I had a little problem with authority and I also had a little problem keeping my mouth shut. Would you believe I actually got detention in kindergarten because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut? Who gets the detention in kindergarten? Me that’s who.

Daddy made a bet with me that I would not survive basic training for the military because of my mouth. He almost won that bet. Almost. I did get in trouble and I did get threatened to be relieved from my position before I even got a chance to get to it but I made it and I won the bet. I actually think he made the bet to get me to join the military. But I’m thankful that I did because it was a really great experience and a wonderful adventure through life.

I still have trouble with authority.  But, I’m learning and getting better at what I do best – run my mouth. I don’t think that’s what I do best, but lately, I’ve been doing it quite well. A few things I’m not allowed to speak about right now, but there are other things that I can continue to tell the world about and those things I cannot tell are things I would not tell at this time anyway.  I’ve learned that just because I’m able to continue to use my voice, that doesn’t mean everyone is or everyone should.  We each must face the nightmares in our own way and our own time.

It’s been said that I should just move on and get past this and basically forget that it ever happened. Well, it’s just not that easy. You can’t just forget about a man molesting  and sexually abusing  and physically abusing  and mentally abusing and tearing apart  your family  from the inside out until there’s nothing left.

the devil fears

Imagine your child through the ages 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 and 15 years old. Now imagine you just found out that during those ages your child was sexually assaulted on a regular basis by a family member; more days of the week than not.

Now forget about it and act like it never happened and move on with your life. The perpetrator’s not going to pay for it. He gets to be free. You have to deal with all the damage. And on top of that, the perpetrator gets half custody of your child. That was against the law but the law doesn’t matter here does it?

But but but…. pretend like it never happened and move on with your life and don’t do anything about it. Don’t hold a grudge; just let it go. Can you do it?

This is not something petty. The seriousness of this crime has been completely ignored by the person calling differences petty, but I can’t get into that here and I will explain later.

Right now the only thing I’m going to do is leave you a little something to read. The names have been blacked out to protect the innocent. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. Tonight anyway.

"...she told her father no. ...her father grabbed her by her belt loop and pulled her closer to him and stuck his hand into her pants."
From the Office Report for Incident 10-06545 Nature of Incident: Sexual Abuse/Molestation ***Public Information***
"he dad pulled her pants down from behind and began touching her...she told her dad not to touch her because she was saving herself for when she got married...her dad told her I understand."
From the Office Report for Incident 10-06545 Nature of Incident: Sexual Abuse/Molestation ***Public Information***
"...her father...had come into her room while she was sleeping. ... her father got into bed with her. ... her father pulled her ... closer to him by putting his hands on her waist and pulling her. ..."
From the Office Report for Incident 10-06545 Nature of Incident: Sexual Abuse/Molestation ***Public Information***

Legal Harassment

While researching how to shut down the ex from his never-ending whining and crying to the courts about not getting what he wants – like a two-year-old throwing a major tantrum crying to his mommy – I came across this article.  I urge you to click on it and read through it.  Should you ever find yourself in such a predicament, having some inkling of what it’s all about will help keep you sane.

Abuse Sanctuary – Abusive Stalking Using The Courts

Well, what do you know.  It’s a perfect fit for the situation at hand.  Unfortunately, these actions can cause a lot of harm – especially financially.  My budget is tight as it is.  Because I am not a lazy unemployed drug dealer like he is, I do not qualify for waivers of court fees nor can I afford to pay somebody to write my documents for me.  I pay my filing fees, for copy and print services, for legal advise when I need it, and when I pay for these things, I have to pull money from regular household expenses.  Recently, there were three court cases he had me in.  I was successful in having one dismissed.  These other two will go through to the end.  That means more missed work, more filing fees, more copy and print fees, and more paperwork to keep me away from spending time with my son.  This is harassment.  My son and I now have to move because court costs have caused me to fall to far behind on rent and other bills.  I’m close to losing my job because my employer wants somebody who can be here full time.  I can’t say that I blame him.  This has been going on for a year and a half now.  My patience is wearing thin and I’m sure my employer’s patience has worn out completely.

But!  Guess what?

I’M STILL STANDING and I AM STILL ‘RUNNING MY MOUTH.’

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Saved by the Grace of God,

Mel

So You’ve Filed for Custody

The claim is that I have not abided by the orders of the court since day 1.

The claim is that I refuse to allow him to participate in events related to my son’s health and well-being.

The claim is that I refuse to allow him to participate in my son’s life in any way, shape, or form.

The claims are close to 100% true. There are no rumors to dispell here.

It is in the best interests of my son’s health, well-being, and future for him not to have any type of contact with his father as his father is unfit to parent.

A.R.S. 25-414. Violation of visitation or parenting time rights; penalties
A. If the court, based on a verified petition and after it gives reasonable notice to an alleged violating parent and an opportunity for that person to be heard, finds that a parent has refused WITHOUT GOOD CAUSE to comply with a visitation or parenting time order….

A.R.S. 25-403. Legal decision-making; best interests of child
A. The court shall determine legal decision-making and parenting time, either originally or on petition for modification, in accordance with the best interests of the child. The court shall consider all factors that are relevant to the child’s physical and emotional well-being, including:

6. Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, meaningful and continuing contact with the other parent. THIS PARAGRAPH DOES NOT APPLY if the court determines that a parent is acting in good faith to protect the child from witnessing an act of domestic violence or being a victim of domestic violence or child abuse.

8. Whether there has been DOMESTIC VIOLENCE or CHILD ABUSE pursuant to section 25-403.03.

A.R.S. 25-403.03 states:  “A. Notwithstanding subsection D of this section, joint legal decision-making shall not be awarded if the court makes a finding of the existence of significant domestic violence pursuant to section 13-3601 or if the court finds by a preponderance of the evidence that there has been a significant history of domestic violence.”

Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, continuous sexual abuse of a child, raping your own child, and child molestation are all considered domestic violence and child abuse under the law. Contributing to the delinquency and dependency of children is child abuse.  Failure to provide is neglect. Neglect is child abuse.  The  rest of the statute can be read here:  http://www.azleg.gov/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/25/00403-03.htm&Title=25&DocType=ARS

I cannot forget to mention his substance abuse issue (documentation goes back to when he was 11 years old) that caused all six kids to be removed in 2005 and was also an issue in 2010. He continues to place the family at risk. CPS would take my son out of his home if he went over there and he would never be returned. He’d stay in foster care forever.

A.R.S. 25-403.04. Substance abuse
Read here: http://www.azleg.gov/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/25/00403-04.htm&Title=25&DocType=ARS

I will have the full list of statutes along with supporting documentation compiled here soon.  In the mean time, enjoy this short clip which ages Johnny from an infant to an adult and gives us a good look at who Johnny’s real father is.

A man deprived of raising his one and only son and a boy deprived of the love and companionship which can only come from a father.

Warm Regards,

Mel

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire.

  There are FIVE different emotional abuses in these two posts.  You wonder why my son doesn’t trust you, JJ?  You will know on Friday.  I will not allow you to cause my child any harm.  We have been over this before.  If you want a visit, you already know what you have to do.  You would rather spend your money on drugs and alcohol than on visiting with my son.  In case you’ve forgotten, review the You-Tube under this posting.  Thank you and have a nice day.
Because every fucking thing he said was bullshit.
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Devon said he is not falling for the truck trick.  Each child has “had” their first vehicle in JJ’s possession and each child has had their first vehicle sold by JJ before they even had a chance to drive it.  Just like JJ got a dirt bike for Devon.  JJ and Devon were going to fix it up nice and Devon was going to learn how to ride.  JJ sold it on Craigslist.  Deven never did learn to ride.  At least my boyfriend worked on it a little with Devon and got it running.  That’s more than JJ has ever done.

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He’s made 3 child support payments, December, January, and March, since the day the divorce was finalized on July 18, 2014. He can visit with Devon anytime he pleases. All he has to do is call Milly and schedule the visit. Milly will call me and I will be sure to have Devon there.  He loves to say I won’t let him see his son, but the truth is that he doesn’t want to see his son.  He just wants to complain about not seeing him.  The last visit I arranged with him and for him, he found something more important to do:  get drunk and get in a fight.

Love,
Mel

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Grace

Johnny’s Resilience and Ability to Stand up for Himself

No More Silence

I am very fortunate to have such wonderful and forgiving children.  Some of them are, anyway.  I’m talking about my step-children, although I never considered them steps.  They’ve always just been my kids with the other three.  In 2010, when the family disintegrated, I did not do things the way a good parent would have.  I was shocked, blindsided, hurt, and had been fed so many lies by John that I believed the lies and thought the truth was a lie.  I hurt my step-children.  I called them names.  I yelled and asked them why they were doing this to us and asked how they could do this to their own father.

Fast forward, they were doing what I taught them to do.  They were standing up for themselves and the truth even though they were standing up against their father and I.  I’m very proud of them for that.  It…

View original post 2,650 more words

Has the Truth Ever Passed Though Your Lips?

This is my son, Johnny.  Now, I did not give birth to him.  He has an Angel Momma.  I did watch him take his first steps and hear him speak his first words and I love him ever so much.  Johnny has a special story that he and I will be telling.  I wish I had seen him before he was shipped off to his “dad’s” parent’s house way back when.  You see his black eyes in his first two baby pictures?  Those were neither the first bruises nor the last that his “dad” inflicted on him.  See, His “dad” is a Narcissistic Sociopath.  People like that place roles on the children in the home.  Johnny’s role was the Scapegoat.  The following defines scapegoating and how Johnny was treated in the home with the encouragement of his “dad”.  Why?  I have a theory.  I will tell you all about it during the telling of Johnny’s story.  This is enough for the moment.  There is so much more and still many questions that we, Johnny and I, would like answered.  Johnny deserves answers.  Johnny did not deserve to be beaten so badly and so often.  Who gives a baby a black eye?  My Narcissistic Sociopathic Ex-Husband does without even blinking an eye.

I will be laying it all out.  Why John Jaramillo detests Johnny so much, what John Jaramillo robbed Johnny from not just Johnny, but a nice group of people and how resilient Johnny is in overcoming such an abusive past.  There are parts of this story that are sick and twisted.  I love you Johnny.  Be sure to let me know if I should add or change anything. ❤  We will go slow.  One piece at a time.  This is a pretty good introduction, you think?  You are amazing.  Don’t ever forget that.  You are none of those things he said you were.  He was projecting himself onto you.  That means he saw you as a mirror and everything he said was meant for himself.  He simply is incapable of accepting criticism, blame, or anything else that shows who he really is.

Scapegoating. 

“Scapegoating is a serious family dysfunctional problem with one member of the family or a social group being blamed for small things, picked on and constantly put down. In scapegoating, one of the authority figures has made a decision that somebody in the family has to be the bad guy. The mother or father makes one child bad and then looks for things (sometimes real, but most often imagined) that are wrong.” (Lynn Namaka, “Scapegoating“)

Often, the emotional child abuser will encourage, through his or her actions and treatment of the scapegoat, the other children to also pick on the scapegoat, so that the scapegoat has no allies in the family. ~ The Invisible Scar


Narcissistic Sociopaths believe they are unique, yet they are all the same.  They all have the same traits and patterns of behavior.  John Jaramillo has every single trait of the Narcissistic Sociopath including:

Lack of remorse or guilt. A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

I’ll be going through the list and providing real life examples which includes John’s very own written words.  How else can a guy beat his best friend to a bloody pulp just because his best friend received a text message from his ex-girlfriend, who happens to be Johnny’s aunt (mother’s sister), that said two simple words that everyone says to everyone else, every year.  “MERRY CHRISTMAS”  if he isn’t sick in the head?  I’ll have that story for you too.

With all my love,

Mel

JJ,

No more secrets. No more lies. What was it you told me?  The truth shall set us free?  It isn’t going to set you free.  It is going to get you locked up where you belong.

Toodles.